Balancing Motherhood and Medicine:
A Physician’s Guide to Thriving, Not Just Surviving

Transforming Healthcare Coaching Podcast — Episode 106: Balancing Motherhood and Medicine with Dr. Cindy Van Praag. Host Lillian Liang Emlet, MD MS CHSE CPC ELI-MP interviews guest Cindy Van Praag, MD, NBC-HWC, anesthesiologist, integrative health and wellness coach, and founder of Inspired Mom MDs. Published April 27, 2026.

Cindy Van Praag: Appearance or what people see is a mask, and we all wear different masks. people don't see everything that's going on beyond that, And wouldn't it be amazing if she could just throw the masks away and just be herself? I don't need to explain my reasoning, I stood with my decision, I stood with my values, and to not get into the game of going backand forth and negotiating with people or defending yourself. That's my biggest tip. You don't owe them that you can just pivot and move on to people who aren't going to challenge you in that way. We have enough time for what we want to do in life. I don't think we have enough energy. And so I like to focus on the energy portion of that. And when you do that, it kind of in a way, expands time.

Lillian Emlet: So physician mothers feel stretched always between clinical responsibilities, family life, supporting their partners, and experiencing guilt when we prioritize one thing over another and operating on autopilot, sometimes losing your sense of self and identity. And so, on this week's episode, we're going to talk a bit about how can we find better balance and do more with our lives as physician leaders and physician mothers. And what if the very qualities that make you an exceptional physician are the same ones sabotaging your life at home. So I'm so excited to have Dr. Cindy Van Praag. She's an anesthesiologist with over 23 years in medicine, 17 years as a mother to two teenagers. She's a board certified integrative health and wellness coach. She's founder of Inspired Moms MD when she helps physician moms take back control and prioritize what matters most. She hosts the Inspired Mom MD's podcast and she's made it her mission to help women physicians thrive, not just survive in both their practice at home and in life. And so, Cindy, thank you so much for coming and, being on our podcast with Transforming Healthcare Coaching.

Cindy Van Praag: Thank you. Thank you for having me.

Lillian Emlet: So, Cindy, you describe yourself as a wellness advocate for physician moms. And what does that phrase mean to you? And why did you put your stake out there to say that that's who you are, that's what Inspired Moms MD is.

Cindy Van Praag: It is about, yeah. So, I am a wellness advocate for physician moms. And I can break that sentence into a couple parts. So physician moms, the reason I chose them, people are like, "why don't you talk to men?" "Well, because I'm not one." So I just feel that I can relate to women a little bit better, and women physicians, because I've been through the trials and tribulations and the unique challenges that women and physicians that combination have in their life. And then as far as the wellness advocate for this group of people. I think it all comes back to your own personal wellness. It all comes back to your own health and vitality and physiology. If you can't be your best physically and individually, how are you going to be able to help your patients and your family and just everyone in that whole bubble around you. So I advocate for women's own health and wellness, and I'm specifically women doctors.

Lillian Emlet: Yeah, so important, especially because over half of most medical schools now are women, and so it's really important to make sure that we support both genders through their, the longevity of their career. And I guess I would probably say that a lot of times things look perfect on the outside, I mean, I think a lot of times even my own women peer networks and our women physician, mentoring groups, things look perfect on the outside, but oftentimes we still feel really overwhelmed and depleted inside. When you have clients, what, what do you hear, in terms of how they carry that between the appearance and the reality? How do they navigate that?

Cindy Van Praag: I think that appearance or what people see is a mask, and we all wear different masks. So when you go to work, you put on your doctor mask and people don't see everything that's going on beyond that, they just see An energetic, in control, confident woman and not to say that she doesn't have those qualities, but that's what she portrays outwardly. So that's her mask. And then, she gets off work and heads to a family event with her kids, and now she's wearing the mom mask.So, it's almost like each role my client's play has a different mask. And wouldn't it be amazing if she could just be, throw the masks away and just be herself? So I hope that answers your question. Yeah. They, it is just what you show the world But it's not what's really happening on the inside.

Lillian Emlet: Right. And I do think that's part of, I think that integration piece, you know, as coaches, helping everyone integrate all those different areas of your life so that it doesn't feel like you're switching identities or personas or personalities. and I think there's so much of our societal I guess a story that we tell ourselves and we've internalized and it's only, I think when a... and I'm sure even, you know, in your experience when us as coaches or when we have our own coaches push with questions to really question like, "where did you get that? why are you accepting that?" And then you realize, "I don't have to keep society's definition of what a mom has to do."

Cindy Van Praag: Oh, absolutely. So, and who's to say society is right. I mean, why are we listening to society? and that's why I like to come back to what matters most in your life and her life, and that's what matters, not what society and what other people are telling you. it goes back to your own internal values, What do you value? What I value, and you and I have had this discussion about not really understanding what our values are until later in life. And that is what a coach helps you face and sit down and really think about, "gosh, what is it I really get? What is it I really love in life? What is it that I can't live without?" for example, one of my values is integrity, and it gets me into trouble because it's not hard to succeed if you have integrity in this world because it's not because you are trying to do what's true and right. And that's not what society is telling you or what I love, love, love in life if are my children. and that's the same with a lot of other women too, of course. But, so a value. So that means that is something that should be one of my priorities. and I think when you come back to that, you don't have to listen to what other people say and what society tells you within reason.

Lillian Emlet: Yeah, I know many, physicians and healthcare professionals, that integrity is their highest value. And I'm curious, do you have any, I guess, tips or examples of when that's your most highest value, how we can express that and feel like you're in alignment?

Cindy Van Praag: Yeah. I'll just use my own life story for that instead of pulling in someone else's story. this one has been a challenge, so I don't have all the answers to tips. The only tips I would say is to just stand by what you believe firmly is honest and true and speaks to your values. And here's a tip, you don't have to make excuses for your decisions. So, for example. I won't get into too many details, but I said no to someone who offered me a project that is really stepping outside my boundaries of what I thought was like, honest, honestly. And I just flat out said no. And the person was arguing with me, "well why not?" Or, "if that's your problem, why don't we just fudge this?" And it was just a flat no for me. I don't need to explain my reasoning, and I honestly didn't think they earn the right to argue back and forth with me. I'm just stood in my integrity, so I stood with my decision, I stood with my values, and to not get into the game of going backand forth and negotiating with people or defending yourself. That's my biggest tip is you don't have to do that. You don't owe them that you can just pivot and move on to people who aren't going to challenge you in that way.

Lillian Emlet: I love that. That's really good one. We could just fudge it. that's interesting. An interesting philosophy fudging things, but yes, that's a really a great example, if that's your highest value, is to think about just standing by it and holding firm that even just the explanation isn't necessary. Because people believe and aren't always in the mood to talk, and at the end of the day, you don't owe anyone anything in terms of an explanation.

Cindy Van Praag: Yeah. Yeah, boundaries. And I am also hearing in that example is also, a lot of times as women, we have been told or enculturated to have less strict boundaries. And even though I use analogy that boundaries are like swimming lanes. They are meant to move. You don't have to be feel like they're rigid or they box you in. because for me, I have very fluid boundaries. and I don't mind them moving a little bit, but sometimes it's okay to have them a little stronger. and they're there for a reason. Right. And it's not to say that all of my boundaries in my life are rigid. but when it comes to something as important as integrity, then yeah, that's a good time to have a firm boundary.

Lillian Emlet: Exactly.

Cindy Van Praag: I agree with you on the fluidity of boundaries and I almost don't like the word because it sounds so harsh.

Lillian Emlet: Yes, me too. Me too.

Cindy Van Praag: But there's for lack of a better term, but we'll use it.

Lillian Emlet: And so I think the other thing that oftentimes with physician mothers is that we delay self-care because we feel really guilty prioritizing ourselves. And you also work with the question that many of us carry, which is the, "am I enough?" A lot of times inside we really don't feel that we are enough. and so how do you help people work through that internal really deep seated work?

Cindy Van Praag: Oh, that gives me a physical sensation because I was at a meeting only a year ago, I think it was. And I was in a room with a bunch of physicians and got into a group circle with about eight to 10 of them. And all of us were accomplished. we're mid-career edging to like career positions and have accomplished all kinds of things, have all kinds of letters after our name, have families that are thriving. Everything looks great. We had a prompt and we went around the circle and we just basically explained something that we were challenged with or that was stressing us out. And the common theme for all of these people, all of these accomplished people, came down to, "Am I enough?" it just blew my mind. I'm like, "what? you are thinking that, and you are... oh my gosh, you are thinking just these amazing people." And almost that moment was so powerful because voicing it in front of peers and then hearing other people say it made them realize that they are enough. So it's almost like, holding up a mirror to yourself helps people realize. So that can be done in group settings, it can be done in this it... It just so happened to be a conference I was at, which was just profound. Or it could be in a coaching setting where the coach has a really great role of being a mirror to the person on the other side of the screen and just pulling up all of the ways that they are enough. and people seem to have that realization like, "wow, you know, I really am kind of amazing. I really did do this and I did that." And I'm like, "wow." And so I think it just almost comes with a mirror effect. Talking through these things and deep down people are enough. They just need to see it.

Lillian Emlet: Right. And I think, you know, I've used that analogy as well in terms of the mirror. And I think the reality is most coaches have coaches. So even when I'm getting coached, one of the coaches that I've worked with, you know, really points out that "You can't see yourself because you're like a goldfish inside the bowl. You can't describe yourself because you're already living inside the water. You have to come outside yourself." So it's normal to have someone be the mirror or the Sherpa to kind of guide you along so that you can be as empowered as you are, because it's always with the questioning. And then, you know, we, we call, we'll call it for what it is pretty rapidly in our one-on-one, sessions in terms of, as soon as the not enough begins to creep in, we'll, you know, you or I, you know, will always sort of nip that and recognize it relatively quickly because we're not inside the fish bowl.

Cindy Van Praag: Yeah. It's really obvious when you're looking from the outside in. That's an excellent point.

Lillian Emlet: So a lot of symptoms people talk about, you know, I know most physicians and even myself, we time, boundaries, and mindset. Are there some of like the big three things that people have some kind of challenge? I'm curious what are common things in any of those buckets, a time issue, a boundary issue or a mindset issue that many of your women physician clients come to you with and, that you could sort of explain to, you know, I think people will see themselves in this story, and then if we can unpack that a little bit and see, well, how is it different after they've worked with you?

Cindy Van Praag: I like all three buckets you mentioned. time might be the biggest bucket, with women really just not even wanting to give up the time for coaching. because it feels like, I think even you had this analogy, you have so much on your plate and if I add something else, I have to take something away. So time, it is just this feeling that "I don't have enough time. I don't have time for this. I don't have time." There aren't enough hours in the day. There aren't enough minutes in the day. So time is the biggest one. And so what I love to help women see is that not necessarily a lack of time. it maybe it's a lack of energy or maybe it's when you don't have the energy, time just expands. I mean, everything takes longer. when I'm exhausted, it takes me longer to do everything. I'm just pushing my way through it. I just can't wait to get to bed. And those are the off days. And what's happening on the off days is that I don't have the energy. On the other days when I get enough sleep and I am nourished and I'm hydrated, I have more energy and I get so much more gets done with the same amount of time as that day that I didn't have any energy. So I like to focus on the baseline or the Undercurrent, the problem, which is these energy leaks that we have and the energy leaks can be in so many different ways — it can be physical, it can be mental, like is it kind of mindset, it can be in relationships, it can be spiritual, you can be leaking energy in all of these different, almost like a wheel of pieces of the pie. And what I do with women is I help kind of identify where are those leaks on which part of your wheel, which one do you have the energy to talk about and attack? And when we stop that leak, then you start getting more energy and then you can move on to another part where you have an energy leak and you can stop that leak and get more energy and the more alive and vibrant you feel. Time just kind of takes care of itself. You're able to find the time. it's just not as much of a challenge. And so I do think we have enough time for what we want to do in life. I don't think we have enough energy. And so I like to focus on the energy portion of that. And when you do that, it kind of in a way, expands time.

Lillian Emlet: Those are so good and it's definitely a different way of thinking. Because I think a lot of people think about time hoarding and money hoarding and like trying to organize it and keep all categorized and just doing the what without understanding the how, like, sort of how it gets there first and energy is the first foundational step. So that's really a lovely example of energy. You know, I think the other question too becomes the mindset. The mindset does really affect, how we can even go about it. And so, I'm curious, you know, whenever, sometimes we open our calendar, we open our day and we're trying to figure out. What do I actually want to do today? I'm wondering how do you help your clients become the best version of themselves in alignment, achieving all the things they want to achieve, having all the different pieces of the pie, all those identities, all those masks all integrated into one. When they just wake up, how do you help them figure out, like, how do you show up for the day?

Cindy Van Praag: So that, that's a big leap, right? So you got everything.

Lillian Emlet: Yeah.

Cindy Van Praag: I wish there was one answer to get from when you're struggling to having all your pieces of the pie, but in reality it takes small steps to get there and to change mindset, there isn't a cure all for changing your mindset to make everything easy in life. But there are science backed baby steps you can take to get there, and they do work and that's where the real work is. How do we make those little steps each day to get you closer to where you want to be? And they can be so simple, which means they're so easy to do. And just simple. All these little things are running into my head. So maybe just, habit stacking or prioritizing your day or just picking three things on your list that you want to get done first. And putting everything away. It's time blocking. it's all of these little tactics that you implement them piece by piece and you get yourself closer and closer to where you want to be. And that's where having a coach kind of helps you guide, what is it that you want, Lillian? What is it that I talked about habit stacking and you might be like, "Ooh, that's not for me?" Well, that's great. so what I like to do is find out what would you want to do? What works for you? What floats your boat? What gets you excited when you wake up in the morning? What's one little thing you can do that day that works for you? And so I think that that's the exciting part about this job that I have, is that each person is so different. So the path to that fulfillment is a little bit different. It's based on them and their makeup and how they think. But mindset shifts are absolutely achievable. It just takes little steps to get there.

Lillian Emlet: I love that. And so in some ways we're very aligned in terms of both of how we practice with our coaching, even though we've come from different training backgrounds for how we coach, but you can also see how our standards for coaching do become very similar. and as people think about which coach do they pick for themselves, I think what's neat to see with our conversation is that similar with the things we've talked about here at transforming, is that a lot of it comes with awareness. And then taking some new action to be able to do these small, deliberate practice steps and you have to really worry about your own physiology, foundation, energy first and look for optimization of that. And I love how you look for the leaks first. You know, rather than doing, change is harder to move forward when you try to do something completely, radically different, is easier to optimize. Like the things that are just sort of plug the holes if anything, to be able to, to fix those little minor tweaks. And then really high performers with really extensive growth mindset really are just leaning back when they look upon their past experience of all the habits that have been successful. and so for many people who are listening, either feeling you're either young or you're, older and you probably all have the same things, you know? Dr. Van Praag has really expressed how even in a room of highly accomplished people, and if you're listening and you're a CEO and you're a chief medical officer, you probably have had exactly the same thoughts that we're discussing on this episode today. If you're a woman leader, that you may not feel enough inside and you often can't recognize the things you've accomplished, and when you get pointed out that you are habit stacking those little things is in that action that the next consistent action will get you to become the next highest performing version of yourself. And that's what we do, coming from different training backgrounds and yet very aligned in our methodology for how we implement, change as leaders and change as physicians, as change as women.

Cindy Van Praag: Yeah, beautifully put.

Lillian Emlet: And so I guess I'm wondering what have we not covered in our episode today that you'd love our audience to know?

Cindy Van Praag: well, my number one thing is you are enough. We covered that. I think that every woman has within themselves the ability to change that you don't need to look to external sources to tell you what to do. so you have the ability and you have the answers within yourself. And I think that's a really unique point about coaching and that who aren't familiar with it may not already know. It's that I'm not telling you what to do. You already know what to do. As scary as that sounds, and it, you have the answer within yourself. So I think that's a super important point is that people do have the answers. They just need someone to help guide them to it, and the beauty of that is that if you have the answer yourself, then it's probably the right one versus me telling you what to do or someone in society telling you what to do, or your family or anybody. If it's within yourself, then that's the path you should take.

Lillian Emlet: So well put. Thank you so much for that concluding remark to really integrate everything, because I think that's probably the thing we're all searching. For is like in integration of all the aspects of ourselves so that we can feel complete and whole and human. And so how can people work with you?

Cindy Van Praag: The easiest way to reach me is either LinkedIn, which is my name, Cindy Van Praag, or my website, which is InspiredMomMDs.com. The website has ways to reach me or LinkedIn. I'm most often on LinkedIn, so it's super easy to get hold of me. I get emails all the time from, even spam, everything, so people know how to get hold of me through those two things.

Lillian Emlet: Wonderful. And so if you're a healthcare leader woman physician, looking for support in your own transformation, whether that's through leadership coaching, coaching for women physicians, career transitions, or finding that integration with who you are and who you are going to become. Feel free to contact either Cindy or ourselves, if we resonated with you today. And we have, we both have resources that are designed specifically for healthcare professionals navigating these types of change. And so, Cindy, thank you so much for coming on and sharing your expertise and your perspectives. And hopefully this was a breath of fresh air and some proof for thought for women physician leaders out there.