Moms Leading in Healthcare:
Beyond the Supermom Myth

Transforming Healthcare Coaching Podcast — Episode 108: Transforming Healthcare: Mom Leaders Dialogues. Host: Lillian Liang Emlet, MD MS CHSE CPC ELI-MP, with Transforming Healthcare Coaching® coach Gillian Faith, MS ACC SHRM-SCP CPQC. A special Mother’s Day episode recorded live in Sedona, Arizona. Published May 11, 2026.

Lillian Emlet: Sometimes people just say like, "Well, I don't want this. I don't trust that." Sometimes maybe perhaps with good intentions, but unfortunately who you harm long term is — YOURSELF. Because you've given yourself no support.

Gillian Faith: And it goes back to recognizing that we cannot be supermoms, superwoman, you know, there is a limit and not beating ourselves up, not being too critical.

Lillian Emlet: Parents in different ways and they all are important. And I think for me, realizing "Who gave you this idea that this is the way to parent or to be a mom or what a being a good mom means, or even just questioning what does a good mom mean?

Lillian Emlet: Do you really think it's possible to be a leader, promoted, and a healthcare professional? This is what we talk about in our Special Mother's Day episode coming to you live from Sedona, Arizona. So Gillian, it is so wonderful to be here with you in Sedona, Arizona, which we both have been dreaming to come to.

Gillian Faith: Yep

Lillian Emlet: we're both moms.

Gillian Faith: Yep, absolutely. Yeah.

Lillian Emlet: So, Happy Mother's Day,

Gillian Faith: Same to you.

Lillian Emlet: I still can't believe that we are able to make all of this happen here for our retreat, for Transforming Healthcare Coaching. And I figured this is no better time than to record a podcast to talk about some myths, and some strategies and some things that we would like to share with our friends and colleagues who happens to be parents, moms in healthcare, whether you're a leader, like an administrative chief, nurse practitioner, physician, executive. We'll kind of dive into it.

Gillian Faith: Okay. Sounds good.

Lillian Emlet: I guess my wonder for you is, you know, it's hard to make the time for the things that matter and you juggle a lot of different things. Could you give us an idea for what kinds of things are on your plate and were on your plate when you were working clinically, raising your family, being a partner. You went through a lot of different growth phases in your career as a leader in healthcare, and I'm just curious, like what kinds of identities.

Gillian Faith: Yeah, absolutely. So obviously, first of all, there's the clinical side of things with a schedule and, sometimes that schedule can't be moved, right? It has to stay the way it is, or you have to find coverage. So that's number one. Number two, there's the demands of the family and the kids and their school schedules, their college schedule, whatever it is, their after school activities. And then, there's the relationship in the family, you know, whether it's a husband and wife or whatever that is. And that has to be nurtured as well. Because if you don't look after that, everything starts to kinda crumble. And I think sometimes that's the last relationship to get the attention that it actually needs because working kids tend to come first.

Lillian Emlet: Yeah. No, I totally relate. I do have to admit, I do think that that contributed probably to my divorce. Because that definitely was a relationship that came last. And that's also in, we had a MedTHRIVING summit last year in December. And our, special guest, Dr. Lisa Muehlenbein talked about that. That's right. And she has the MEDLIFE matrix, which is all about nurturing that relationship first. So it's a really important part that you bring out.

Gillian Faith: Yeah, 'cause she recognizes how important that is.

Lillian Emlet: Right. So a lot of times as a working woman in healthcare, how do you manage the schedule? Because I think that's nine times out of 10, that's all we complain about when we're talking about like, "Well, how do you arrange this and how do you figure out who's going to take him to soccer?" And then, "Who's your mom tribe?" I don't know if you have any tips or guidance and I certainly can use some of your advice.

Gillian Faith: Okay. So luckily, when I was going through all this, my husband and I were a pretty good team. So, you know, that definitely helped a lot. We both picked up the slack or we helped each other out. So, I think that's one thing. Another thing is to have a support system where possible. Now, maybe some people are fortunate to have grandparents around, or aunties and uncles. I didn't have any extended families, and I often found that difficult because then you have to think about, "Well, if I've got to do this or I wanna go out or I wanna have an evening out, who do you trust for babysitting?" So, and maybe it's another mom and you trade off. We did that quite a lot. We traded time but having some kind of a support system, be it family, friends, responsible older kids, you know, that are in the neighborhood, I think that's really helpful as well.

Lillian Emlet: Yeah, that's a really good idea. The responsible neighbors in your locality because everyone sort of realize. Because I know a lot of times people post on Facebook groups or mom's groups or school, PTO things, just trying to find connection. Because being brave enough to actually ask for help and connection is so important. Because it really does take a tribe to figure out all those things. And I think that's the hardest thing when moms isolate themselves or you decide for yourself. The first person in your own way is yourself. Because sometimes people just say like, "Well, I don't want this. I don't trust that." Sometimes maybe perhaps with good intentions, but unfortunately who you harm long term is yourself Because you've given yourself no support.

Gillian Faith: Exactly. And quite often we're the last person, you know, that goes along with the relationship. But quite often, we are the last people to look after ourselves. And you become drained; sometimes you become cranky. And you maybe react to things that you don't wanna react to, but it's because you feel overwhelmed or just pulled in too many different directions. I'm sure you've felt like that from time to time because yeah, you have a really busy schedule you, you take a lot on and

Lillian Emlet: This is true. So I guess I'm wondering how do you advocate for yourself, like in that partnership relationship with either with your husband or your partner? And how do you ask your friends to be able to do those things? Do you have any language or suggested ways?

Gillian Faith: I mean, what's coming up for me is, being with people that you can trust, right? So if you've got good relationships and trusting relationships, I think it's something that can come quite naturally. If you don't have that, then it's a whole different story and I guess it just depends on the relationships you have and the needs that you have. And, you know, sometimes you have to drop everything, get a kid to a doctor's appointment or to something else and you just have to make it work. And, but I remember being in the car multiple times, racing around from appointment to appointment or practice-to-practice whatever it was. And, it just was overwhelming.

Lillian Emlet: Yeah. I know there's lots of moms that feel alone, and I know there's a lot of people at work that feel alone.

Gillian Faith: Yeah,

Lillian Emlet: and so I think that one thing I probably would wonder and recommend is just go try to be brave. It's really hard to make new friends and just know that everybody else feels the same way, even with people who have lots of friends. And so I think because we just normalize, it's okay to feel that it's hard, just go try and do it because I'm still friends with someone from... we always were the last two to pick up from afterschool care.

Gillian Faith: Oh, because you're always working. Were always the last two. Yeah.

Lillian Emlet: And even though our girls are no longer necessarily BFFs anymore, like the reality is that was helpful just because you could commiserate with things and you saw a familiar face.

Gillian Faith: Right.

Lillian Emlet: And if necessary, come emergency. Yes. If she had texted me that there was an emergency, I would try to help and vice versa. Like, there was times when, later on, many years later, she needed help in getting to band camp together. And so I'm like, "Yeah." I don't mean they're not best friends, but we will still help as mom friends.

Gillian Faith: Right.

Lillian Emlet: More to the point. So it was just finding little funny opportunities to make a new friend.

Gillian Faith: And talking about being the last to pick I've been there as well, and you kind of feel bad when you walk into the building and your kid's the last one being picked up and they're really desperate to go home or whatever. So, yeah, I think we have to, sometimes feel bad because you don't feel like you're doing enough or you're not meeting everybody's needs and then internalize that. But we also have to remember ourselves some slack and recognize that we can't be everything for everybody.

Lillian Emlet: Right. Yeah. It's funny. So even when your kid tells you, mine told me I really wasn't that great of a moment where you get the direct feedback from your own child. Oh, very direct. Exactly. Right.

Gillian Faith: There's usually no filters.

Lillian Emlet: Yeah, right. Exactly. Yeah. And even in those moments, the reality is it's sort of expectation setting and you're still learning from that. Right. In the day it's like, "Yeah, I think so it was good. In some ways it's good that they said what they said, their piece. They're giving direct feedback and vice versa." You know, we talk to ourselves, how do we talk to ourselves? And so I'm hearing you say, is we often are probably even worse than our kids. Yeah. In terms of what we say to ourselves. Yeah. Like, I mean, in comparison.

Gillian Faith: Yeah.

Lillian Emlet: Like what your kid says to you. They just say it and they're like, "That's it. I still love you. It's still fine. But like, just try not to do that again." But then what we say to ourselves and we neurose over it and then are anxious over it. And then we continue to beat ourselves up. I think that's where the true damage is.

Gillian Faith: Right. And it goes back to recognizing that we cannot be supermoms, superwoman, you know, there is a limit and not beating ourselves up, not being too critical.

Lillian Emlet: Yeah. I love all Shonda Rhimes. I think in one of her commencement speeches talked about the fact that when you see her successful on this stage, or when you see her writing Grey's Anatomy, when you see her making these shows or winning these things, doesn't mean she's really, she's failing at home. And that failure is normal. Failure one, a failure, whatever that really means, in one aspect means you're succeeding in another. And the reality is, if we hold multiple identities, we're always going to have moments where things are going to just sort of fluctuate. And that's also okay because. I think if I ask any one point blank, would you rather be 1000 million percent in this side and not even having this piece of the pie in your life? They're like, "Oh no!" So I think the realize we want to have it all, we also have to right size our expectations for what little wins are we going to celebrate rather than only seeing the negative.

Gillian Faith: Right. And I always thought having structure was very important for kids. So even if you're working shifts and you know your schedule's changing all the time, having some consistency, whether it's the ability to sit down and have dinner together at night, if that's not possible. Can we always have a bedtime story or something else, or some check in on homework, but something that just creates some kind of a routine and habit and stability in a schedule that's kind of all over the place.

Lillian Emlet: Yeah. You're talking about small rituals. Yeah. I think, I mean, bedtime is the best. I love bedtime because I took a nap at the same time.

Gillian Faith: Oh yeah.

Lillian Emlet: Yeah. So going back to the concept in terms of thinking like what is perfect and what's super mom. And do you have any thoughts on like, "Well, we often hear this, right, because we often coach physician executives, they have this super mom complex. I guess I'm wondering how does it show up in sometimes in these conversations that are subtle, in terms of that perception?

Gillian Faith: Yeah. I think it shows up with increased stress, maybe feeling not good enough or I'm not being a good enough mom and that's something we can usually help our clients with because, we're not all perfect and we can't be super mom or super woman, right?

Gillian Faith: Yeah, and I think something else that comes up is perfectionism. You know, we want to have everything done as well as possible, and we beat ourselves up when things are not going as well as possible. And, I'm curious to hear what you think about the perfectionism trap.

Lillian Emlet: Yeah, no, it's funny when you tell about the super mom, 'cause I think we all fall into it because you have different influencers or different people, or even like when you're your mom friends Like, "Oh, I hand bake the cookies." Or "I custom write a love note for the lunchbox every day." Or you know, there's different ways that people show up differently. And I think the hard thing is realizing you don't have to be a curated like a Martha Stewart, magazine of what the lunchbox looks like. sometimes I have these quiet little thoughts, but I tamper them down because I think the reality is all of us parent in different ways. And so for some people it is a home cooked meal. I know for some, unless, and just be okay with that versus for other people, it's being able to transport to all of the sporting activities and be present for all the practices for other people is just. Being able to drive them to school and not have to ride the bus. For other people is just being there and listen to them.

Gillian Faith: Right.

Lillian Emlet: For other, you know, everyone, parents in different ways and they all are important. And I think for me, realizing 'who', oh, I asked often my clients, "Well, who gave you this idea that this is the way to parent or to be a mom or what a being a good mom means, or even just questioning what does a good mom mean? Like, it's very interesting because people really pause for a second and they wonder, where did I, who did I get that from and why. And they start to unpack that. And then we do that in our conversation about, huh, is it my culture? Did I accept it from Instagram? Did I let my best friend influence me? Is it pressures? I mean, 'cause if your friends are pressuring you to be a certain way, are they really accepting you as your authentic self? So you have to wonder who you let them in and you let those expectations in. I mean, if you really do value it, you should value it. You should. If you really wanna have the cookies and you need to prioritize the cookie baking. Fine. But I think it really depends on what's most important, because I would say probably. I would probably almost every single generation, what the mom thought was most important was probably not what the kid thought was most important.

Gillian Faith: I think that's probably very accurate. Yes.

Lillian Emlet: So just, we just have to just keep trying and realize how much time you spend showing up. And I do think there's definitely a lot of data to show that time, energy, attention, listening, being present. It's probably the most important gift you do in that relationship than anything else. It's not the. Buying the clothes. Those things, this really is just being present.

Gillian Faith: Yeah absolutely. Just being present and knowing that your kid can depend on you when they need you because you know, things come up at school, kids are mean to each other at school and there's some undesirable interactions that go on and things that are way more serious than that at school. And some parents are also dealing with, issues like ADHD and other issues with kids and their health. So that's something else that, just adds into the...

Lillian Emlet: Yeah.

Gillian Faith: The complexity and the juggling.

Lillian Emlet: Yeah.

Gillian Faith: I feel like sometimes you're spinning, you're spinning plates, just keeping them all spinning.

Lillian Emlet: Right. It's funny, undesirable interactions in whether you experience them, you accidentally give them to others too. And so I think the question is how do we teach our kids to have grace, which means that we actually have to role model ourselves.

Gillian Faith: Absolutely. Yeah.

Lillian Emlet: Which means if we beat ourselves up, we are in a frenzy at home and we continue to have negative self-talk to ourselves. We're actually accidentally teaching them that is okay to do that. Right. Because I think a lot of people have learned this where they talk so much about their weight or body shaming.

Gillian Faith: Right.

Lillian Emlet: It accidentally came from. By accident, hearing their parent, usually their mom, if they're same or same gender, at least talk about the way they talk about themselves to the other close family unit. They take on those same kind of behaviors. And so if you're not going to do it for yourself, 'cause we can't force you to do anything for yourself for Mother's Day. But if there's one gift you're going to give everybody, maybe just to give yourself some grace.

Gillian Faith: Yeah. And I think we hear it, or I have certainly heard it reflected back, you know, I hear my kids or I've heard them say things over the years and I think, well, where did that come from? And then I, when I realize, oh no, and think about it. That came from me. And you know, I'm, I'm sorry.

Lillian Emlet: Right. Right. Yeah. Wait, so awareness is the first step. Yes. Right. Awareness is the first step. And then the reality is we can always service recover. I think that a lot of times right now there might be people cringing inside themselves and realizing, how can I undo this? The reality is like owning up to it. Right.

Gillian Faith: Yeah. I think be honest and... yeah

Lillian Emlet: we can all choose a new path. Right. So even when you realize, I'm sure you, you had a different conversation with your kids. But like, you know, I can own up to it. And I think we all should be a little different about. Whatever attitude that we might have today. Because we all can always change.

Gillian Faith: Yes.

Lillian Emlet: I think that's the beauty of both coaching and learning and development. It's always a new day. Yeah. It's a new day to be something different

Gillian Faith: And we can always quite give our kids some really intentional questions around, the things that they're bringing up to us. And yeah, I think my parenting has changed a little bit ever since I had, you know, completed coach training.

Lillian Emlet: Yeah.

Gillian Faith: And I kinda wish I'd done it years ago.

Lillian Emlet: I know. Boy, I never thought about that. We should have a just for parents, coaching class or something.

Gillian Faith: Maybe.

Lillian Emlet: Well maybe someday. I think right now, as we help leaders integrate their very busy lifestyle and celebrate all the moms in our lives. What are some things you think that we could do to make the world a better place for women in healthcare? Because as data will show, women have a harder time, have greater rates of suicide, tend to have problems in promotion. You feel like the odds are sort of stacked against you as a woman. And a lot of people really focus in on that glass half empty side of things. But since you and I are both glass half full kind of people, I'm wondering if you have any ideas for how we can give advice.

Gillian Faith: You know having a good support system at work, be it, mentors or coaches or you know 'cause we spend a lot of time at work and that's our work family.

Lillian Emlet: Yeah.

Gillian Faith: And we can have very strong relationships with the people we work with and we can support each other very well. So that would be one thing.

Lillian Emlet: I totally agree. Really having that board of directors for yourself as a woman in healthcare is really important. The mentor, the sponsor, the coach. And then I also would say that those leaders of development programs are worth it. We're lucky. I do sometimes feel a little bit bad actually for my male colleagues because we do have a little tribes of places where we can find either networking, learning opportunities, communities, grants, ways to professionally develop there are just for women because I think there is something about that experience that certain programs will acknowledge so that there's safety in those programs. Not that the mixed,MBA or development programs are any worse. They're great as well. But I do think for some people it just creates a safer environment.

Gillian Faith: Right.

Lillian Emlet: And so to just check it out, be brave, and check out those development programs.

Gillian Faith: Yeah. And it is good to hear from other people because it broadens your perspectives, or they might bring in different perspectives or different things have worked well for them.

Lillian Emlet: Yeah. I also think that the reality of the end of the day is thinking about, we all stand on the shoulder of giants, like we have legacies with our mom, our grandma, and like other sort of the things like things that passed down. And the reality is you are going to be able to make a mark in the way that it's necessary. And so I guess I'm curious for you, like what kind of grounds you so that you can become the best version of you, Gillian?

Gillian Faith: Well, grounds me. I need some alone time, just to let everything be more peaceful and staying physically fit. Always having a workout or, you know, as many as I can fit in. And for me that's really good mentally and physically. And I think that's true for a lot of people. And I know for a lot of the healthcare leaders that we work with, it's really hard for them to fit their own personal fitness into their schedules But it's very, very important. So, are there ways that they can have 20 minute or 30 minute sessions without leaving the house. I know you like the Peloton, so I know you, you like to work out and what does that do for you.

Lillian Emlet: Yeah. No, for me, I think it really has been, it took me the pandemic to realize that, I was a terrible, terrible health and terrible grounded foundation. I think up until 2020 when all of this changed and every, and I realized to do hard, important things, you need to take good, hard important care of yourself. And so you're right, using the Peloton, meaning not having to travel right. Not having to pay more fees to go to a gym, to find creative ways. I know lots of moms will travel with like a favorite YouTube app. And they just do 10 minutes in the hotel. So I haven't quite mastered that. The whole while you're traveling, working out thing. But a lot of people really just, it's as they craft their day, they're like, you know what, I'm going to bow out or leave a little early from dinner. I still go to the networking dinner. I'm going to leave a little bit early to be able to accomplish that.

Gillian Faith: Right.

Lillian Emlet: Or even in the morning, just wake up 30 minutes earlier. I know a lot of them. My clients, I guess, are early birds. And they like to wake up early, which is not for me. I'm not the 5:00 AM club. But you're right. Just to do what fills your cup. Yeah. And so this exercise to make it as easy as possible because there are so many great free things on the YouTube.

Gillian Faith: Yeah. There's lots and, just being able to pull a yoga mat out or something like that and do some body weight exercises or some stretching or whatever can also get your day off to good start or help you close out your day. And you know, help you get better sleep at night.

Lillian Emlet: Right. And I think what's funny about that process is really necessarily about the intensity or what it is you're doing. It's more that you're proud of yourself for being good to yourself. And I think that's an unintended side, side effect of all of that. I think. Obviously working out is good for you. It does secrete endorphins that do relax and make your brain chemicals more end love endorphins.

Gillian Faith: Yeah.

Lillian Emlet: Yeah. So then, you know, you don't even have to be the endurance. I always felt like, oh, you have to be like a marathon runner and hit a certain mileage before you could feel these things. And I never felt any of these things, and I still don't. But I think it's, for me, it's like I did it, you know? And so when you can pat yourself on the back and as Mel Robbins say, you can high five yourself then you've done the most important thing. Mm-hmm. And so it, it serves many different things. We also know for learning that by getting up and moving helps you learn for the rest of the day. And you should actually do frequent intervals of movement so that you can learn better. So if you're in that world where you need to learn about your team, learn about a new skill, and we're all learning about AI. So to learn something, it's really good to have interrupted motion bursts to be able to regenerate the endorphin neurochemical balance. to do that.

Gillian Faith: Yeah.

Lillian Emlet: Awesome. It has been awesome talking with you, Gillian. Okay,

Gillian Faith: well thank you.

Lillian Emlet: Yeah.

Gillian Faith: I appreciate talking to you, as well.

Lillian Emlet: Yeah. So thank you for everyone for listening to our Transforming Healthcare Coaching podcast live from Sedona, Arizona, and happy Mother's Day to all of the healthcare professionals who identify as a mom and a leader. Have a good day.